Danny Selk in the book, “Keep Your Love On” writes that every relationship has one of two goals – to connect or disconnect. We may begin with one goal, and may end up with another because of what we are doing to self-protect ourselves when we are hurt or wounded. Loving each other does not mean we will not hurt one another, but repairing and healing is sometimes a skill that alludes us.

Couples counselling is available for anyone in a marriage, common-law or dating relationship. Couples counselling is available for any of the following issues:

Communication breakdown – fighting, silent treatment, sarcasm, swearing, walking out, threats to end relationship, and any number of individual things we do when we are frustrated or confused by someone else.

Affairs – A simple, “I’m sorry” does not heal an affair, and neither does vigilant scrutiny of everything your partner does. To heal one must understand the real issues that that opened the door and allowed the affair to happen, as well as the real state of the current “committed” relationship. Relationships need not end because of an affair but may grow stronger and better if the real work is done.

Intimacy – sex is an important part of every relationship but may be a whole different thing from true intimacy. Enhancing your sexual experiences involves a closer understanding of what intimacy is all about and how men and women are different.

Finances – many relationships end because of indebtedness, different views of what money is to be used for, and the pressures involved when people overspend. Getting back on track and developing a shared strategy of financial management can resolve a lot of stress between people.

Roles – many times expectations regarding who does what get in the way of getting the “what” done. Various models of what each person should do in the marriage exist in society but what is important is not what the right model is but which model works for you.

Respect – this word is overused and has lost its meaning although we all seem to know what disrespect feels like. A better understanding of the unique differences of each person is helpful and necessary if a level of appreciation and respect are to maintained in the marriage.

Extended family – many couples have major fights and conflict over the influence that extended family has in the marriage. Each family is different – some adding value to the couple relationship and some diminishing value. Definitions and boundaries are helpful in helping a couple resolve extended family conflicts.

BEFORE YOU MAKE THE APPOINTMENT: Be completely honest with your partner about why you are coming for counselling. Do not manipulate or “hoodwink” your partner and expect they will be cooperative when they get to the office!! Encourage them to read the website, get to know me and my background, and what to expect.

WHAT TO EXPECT IN COUPLE’S COUNSELLING: My role is not to play judge and jury, to pick sides, to attack any one individual, or say who’s right. My role is create an environment where each person can feel safe to share, be honest, and understand themselves and the issues better. My personal goal is to encourage a greater level of connection between parties, to seek harmony, and cooperation, to find win/win solutions and to work with individual strengths to compliment and support the marriage union.

If couple’s counselling is desired, please come together. If one cannot attend wait until you can both come. If individual sessions are required, an equal amount of sessions will be required for each person.

Couples will be given homework based on the goals of each session – couples who do the homework advance quicker and see changes faster in the relationship.

Please be sure to allow for 75 minutes for the first session. The session begins when both individuals are present.